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Acting Thick for Money

by The Wind-up Birds

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1.
Round Here 03:27
Warning signal Warning sign Put these thoughts out of your mind Round here you keep your wits about you Everybody says so Hopelessness sits on a stool in the corner Everybody says so Round here you learn things parrot fashion Everybody says so And they give you stupid stuff to spend your cash on Everybody says so Warning signal Warning sign Put these thoughts out of your mind Round here you keep your wits about you Everybody says so ‘Cause hopelessness sits on a stool in the corner Everybody says so The fear lights up your featureless face Everybody says so Send the plagues round to this place Everybody says so Warning signal Warning sign Put these thoughts out of your mind The tears light up your beautiful face Everybody says so Send the plagues down to this place Everybody says so Round here there’s nothing to fear Everybody says so We’ll sit right here ‘til our arses disappear Yeah everybody says that round here Around here La la la la la la la la la la la
2.
They’ve surrounded the bus stop with diamond shards ‘Cause the jokes are not funny on the greeting cards There’s a burning plastic mound on every corner Just like the street signs they are here to warn you Stay close to the driver He’s got what you need Stay close to the driver Satisfaction guaranteed Stay close to the driver Take a book to read Stay close to the driver ‘Cause he will not impede you He doesn’t understand half the words he uses It kind of explains the comrades he chooses He’s spent too much time falling on his bruises It kind of explains the sincerity he oozes Stay close to the driver He’s got what you need Stay close to the driver Satisfaction guaranteed Stay close to the driver Take a book to read Stay close to the driver ‘Cause he will not impede you And when you’re on your own tonight On your own tonight Stay close to the driver He’s got what you need Stay close to the driver Satisfaction guaranteed Stay close to the driver Take a book to read Stay close to the driver ‘Cause he will not impede you
3.
The Advert said “Bastard Required” So I went to the interview, correctly attired I said “This is the role to which I’ve always aspired, I only lied on the form cos I was so tired” Tired T-t-t-tired Well I had morals once I had posters on the wall Of revolutionaries and everything Now their words are used to sell drinks in the clubs Screen printed quotes on plaques around the bar The last guy was completely inspired He died two days after he retired She pawned the clock that he acquired And pursued the life that she’d always desired Desired D-d-desired Well she loved him once She had photos on the wall Of their wedding day and everything Now they’re left face down in a dusty old drawer Along with her rings and his work’s ID card Bastard required
4.
After all the smiles and the “Pleased to meet you”s It's funny how the hate contorts your features You were laying down some impediment speeches I love you You are out of reach, yeah Love us We are gorgeous creatures We will fight you on the beaches Here’s the stick with which they teach us Its hard to say But you love it Don’t you? Yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah Yeah Yeah After all the smiles and the “Pleased to meet you”s Its funny how the hate contorts your features You were laying down some impediment speeches I love you you are out of reach, yeah Love us We are gorgeous creatures Mix your vodka with my bleach, yeah Here’s the sick with which they teach you Its hard to say you love it Here we come through heaven’s gate We’re two thousand years too late Something awful on your plate Hold your breath Two minute hate Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah
5.
I’m not really him I just played him in the film I’m not really him I just played him in the film I’ve made my peace with the people that he killed I’m not really him I just played him in the film This is a fine time Yeah this is a fine time To give me the speech about The morals of the children And the TV And the pop tarts This is a fine time Yeah this is a fine time To give me the speech about Ignorance and morals And the monsters in the bedclothes Ooo oooh ooo oooh I’m not really him I just played him in the film I’m not really him I just played him in the film I’ve made my peace with the people that he killed I’m not really him I just played him in the film This is a fine time Yeah this is a fine time To give me the speech about The morals of the children And the TV And the pop tarts Yeah this is a fine time Oh this is a great time To give me the speech about Ignorance and morals And the monsters in the bedclothes This is a fine time Yeah this is a fine time To give me the speech About the ignorance and the morals And the monsters in the bed clothes This is a fine time Ha this is a great time To give me the speech about Ignorance and morals And the pop tarts on the TV Me and my friends are long term sick Me and my friends are long term sick I’ll see you on the corner, half past six Me and my friends are long term sick Me and the band are long term sick Me and the band are long term sick I’ll see you in my spaceship, half past six Me and the band are long term sick The Wind-up Birds are long term sick The Wind-up Birds are long term sick I’ll see you, dead, half past six The Wind-up Birds are long term sick The Wind-up Birds are long term sick The Wind-up Birds are long term sick I’ll never see you, half past six The Wind-up Birds will never leave you alone
6.
The game is on so it makes sense To coat yourself with confidence Bronzed and bitter, here’s your shot Its time to show us what you’ve got Act like a camera is fixed on your frame And hide all traces from where you came Take flight Run in fear The new eighties are here I saw the signs in ’98 I tried to tell you It was too late Take flight Run in fear The new eighties are here No one listens to this stuff Its just me Kicking off Its time to grab the things you crave Elbow the rest Bold is brave Business arrangement Now called love Contract handy if you’ve had enough Emotion checked except crocodile tears For the special occasions Like your bottled beers Or your bottled fears Take flight Run in fear The new eighties are here No one listens to this stuff Just me kicking off Take flight Run in fear The new eighties are here A dormant signal in the brain Now the eighties are here again The names have changed but not the faces Its just the eighties without the braces Timeless ideals Now defeated Its just the eighties being repeated And I don’t know why I don’t know why Please tell me why Please tell me why Take flight Run in fear The new eighties are here I saw the signs in ’98 I tried to tell you It was too late Take flight Run in fear The new eighties are here A dormant signal in my brain And the eighties are here again The names have changed but not the faces Its just the eighties without the braces Timeless ideals Now defeated Its just the eighties being repeated
7.
Is the world on your shoulders or is the world at your feet? How do you feel about the people that you meet? Do you read about the royals? Are you loyal to your friends? Do you own a lot of records or just Radiohead’s “The Bends”? Are you ploughing through the bible? Are you trying to sell your soul? Do you piss yourself at parties? Do you freeze in front of goal? Are you living off your parents? Are you working for the man? Do you pay for your prescriptions? Do you swear because you can? I think that we can help you We won’t make a fuss We’ll turn your life around If you join us Do you give money to the smackheads or could you give a fuck? Would you drive right passed a car crash or stop to have a look? Do you look like someone famous if you get your hair just right? Do you sometimes wake up screaming in the middle of the night? Do you write things in your diary? Do you keep it in your mind? Do you class yourself as generous or do you think yourself unkind? Are you duller than dishwater? Are you higher than the sun? Would you wipe out all your workmates if you only had a gun? I think that we can help you We won’t make a fuss We’ll turn your life around Join us Do you dream about dying? Do you dream of electric sheep? Do you dream about your father every time you fall asleep? Do you go in for moody silence or succumb to rabid rants? Do you want the world to end soon or be overrun by plants? Do you feel better after crying? Do you hate yourself for days? Do you despise the world around you in a hundred thousand ways? Will you stick with the traditions or will you break the mold? Will it all come back to haunt you when you are growing old?
8.
Hold your breath and slip through the railings Run like mad from your recent failings Don’t look back the path’s disappearing Don’t explain the pleasure you’re feeling You know overhead that vultures are circling You did all you could It just wasn’t working It just wasn’t working (They killed themselves laughing at our stupid disco dancing) If you need a distraction A break from the action There’s a route through the dreary streets of this terrible city (There’s no way to stop us shifting out of focus) Your family won’t miss you Thrown away like a tissue You’ll see things more clearly Its the only answer really Its the only answer really Don’t tell anyone where you going Or when you’ll be back There’s no way of knowing You can change your name or your face when you get there Invent a past for the people you meet there Its a better place but it won’t be plain sailing You will wish you were back through the railings Well get back through the railings (They killed themselves laughing at our stupid disco dancing) If you need a distraction A break from the action There’s a route through the dreary streets of this terrible city (There’s no way to stop us shifting out of focus) Down the hidden ginnels Subterranean tunnels You’ll learn how to function There’s always repercussions There’s always repercussions You once thought you would be relevant Words you uttered would be held as significant Now your dreams are all so distant You act surprised but it was so blatant Act surprised but it was so blatant Act surprised but you are so blatant You act suprised (They killed themselves laughing at our stupid disco dancing) If you need a distraction A break from the action There’s a route through the dreary streets of this terrible city (There’s no way to stop us shifting out of focus) Your family won’t miss you Thrown away like a tissue You’ll see things more clearly Its the only answer really (They killed themselves laughing at our stupid disco dancing) If you need a distraction A break from the action There’s a route through the dreary streets of this terrible city (There’s no way to stop us shifting out of focus) Down the hidden ginnels Subterranean tunnels You’ll learn how to function There’s always repercussions There’s always repercussions
9.
And he’s banging the table like a cop on the edge Shaking the plants off the window ledge Making his point two or three times Shaking with rage and fluffing his lines He’s driving too fast He’s a cop on the edge Skidding through the boxes of fruit and veg His head it is pounding and the veins in his neck Throb like bass speakers in a discotheque Throb like bass speakers in a discotheque (They said it was a young man’s game) x 4 Business plans and sales graphs Greasy food in greasy caffs He strains to fit inside his suits Or tie the laces on his boots His face screams with shaving cuts Acid fizzles in his guts His car shakes from his rock CDs Knocking back the anti-freeze He shouts down the phone Cop on the edge Finding it hard to gain advantage Clients don’t listen like they used to do When he sticks to the facts It still sounds untrue He’s using his fists like a cop on the edge Ready to hand in his gun and his badge He knows that the writing is on the wall He should cash in his shares and get away from it all Cash in his shares and get away from it all (They said it was a young man’s game) x 4 Business plans and sales graphs Greasy food in greasy caffs He strains to fit inside his suits Or tie the laces on his boots His face screams with shaving cuts Acid fizzles in his guts His car shakes from his rock CDs Knocking back the anti-freeze FREEZE (They said it was a young man’s game) x 4 Business plans Sales graphs Greasy food Greasy caffs Can’t fit in suit Tie lace on boot Face scream Shave cut Acid fizz in gut Car shake Queen CD Knock back anti-freeze FREEZE
10.
T-Shirt slogans haunting me Lame one-liners taunting me Instant personality Made for just the needy Ironic shots of TV hosts Goblins, devils, ghouls and ghosts Who can you offend the most Smutty puns are the worst Stop reading now No meaning now He’s leaving now Bands that you don’t even know Cool by association though With kegs way down low You’re everybody that you know Torn on chest by a machine Harder for your mam to clean Do you know what the words mean? Life becoming routine He’s reading now No meaning now Stop reading now Stop reading now Life becoming routine
11.
Slow Reader 03:14
I’m wise enough to know that I’m not very clever Disaster haunts my every endeavor In the distant past I had a future But the details got lost on somebodies computer I left school grey, drained of all colour The mornings were dull but the evenings were duller The booze I got for my decreasing pound Was the stuff the tramps drink on the toxic ground I don’t know why I feel guilty with everyone I don’t know how I was duped by the smirking man Everyone laughed when I went on that programme Born to play the professional victim Affected an accent that betrayed my predicament Every tic and curse was just an investment The ratings were good, there was a witty trailer I floundered around, an incompetent failure Reeled on experts who adjusted their glasses Said I could partake in some evening classes I don’t know why I believe in everyone I don’t know how I was duped by the smirking man I don’t know why I feel guilty with everyone I don’t know how I was duped by the smirking man Follow a slow reader on his way through the day With close ups on his mouth when he’s got something to say Edit in a narrative that just isn’t there You can’t just observe you just have to care Well we sell desolation back to media types Sat in their coffee shops, smoking their pipes Self conscious in the inserts, or just taking the piss Appear through the years in sets of comedy clips I released a single, an old sixties classic My pitch was quite wayward and the backing was basic Picked up by the radio on heavy rotation How did this happen? I’m a singing sensation In the street I get double-takes when they see me “I know your face, did you win the lottery?” I think I’ll get cards made “World Famous Non-Star” leave them in phone booths and stations and bars I don’t know why I believe in everyone I don’t know how I was duped by the smirking man I don’t know why I feel dirty with everyone I don’t know how I was duped by the smirking Duped by the smirking Duped by the smirking man

about

A collection of EP tracks recorded at Ghosttown Studios in Leeds between 2004 and 2006 (except tracks 1 and 2)

credits

released April 16, 2011

Written and performed by The Wind-Up Birds:

Paul Ackroyd - vocals
Ben Dawson - bass
Mat Forrest - guitar
Oli Jefferson - drums

Lead guitar on Round Here and Stay Close to the Driver by Neil Stafford.

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The Wind-up Birds Leeds

New EP - "Pop. Thinking" is out now.


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